ktccc

Luck Off

I am superstitious.

I don't believe in anything except the possibility of some small random thing bringing about My Bad Luck.

I wear bracelets and necklaces that mean something personal to me.  Build me up or remind me in some small way what is important, what isn't ....

I have lost or broken ALL my bracelets in the past month.  I lost one in Missoula, in the 'haunted' old jail house my friend calls an office.  I hooked one on the restaurant table having lunch with Ch*ck a few weeks ago, one on the pen gate worming sheep this last weekend... one fell off in bed last week. My B*ise bed. 

I don't buy expensive (really) jewelry because it just doesn't seem right that harbingers of doom should set you back much.  Thank God.  Still, I keep looking at my naked wrist thinking...I am so fucked if I don't buy something with a snake or violent weapon on it SOON. 

And you might think I'm kidding...but that is really how my mind works.  Like cheap jewelry.

Why Can't We Call it....A Humping License?

Santorum (The man, not the frothy spooge) wants to incentivize marriage.  CAVEAT: Between a man and a woman.  Anything outside this will still send you to Satan's Hibachi, to be braised by heckling goats and people who writhed on a dancefloor until your skin pops.  And then some.
 
I need to hear the TERMS of this Incentivizing before I can get behind it. I'm pretty prolific in the marriage department.  This could be RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.  On my way out of number 3.  I want a frequency incentive.  I want a punchcard where the last one is FREE! I don't even have to DIVORCE him...we can just wake up one morning and say,

"Well."
"Yeah."
"Okay, then...I'll just grab my books and leave you with your fucking recycling.... and my mother's birddog."

OR: I'd like marriage licenses to be issued more like hunting licenses.  Every year you put in for what you want.  I'd like to marry someone who can cook this time.  Someone who will help me carry the television outside so we can smash it. Then we can watch netflix on one of our computer screens.  Because I'm also a hypocrite.

Or marriage could be like a DRIVER'S LICENSE that you renew if you want. Maybe you've just decided to start taking the bus. Or ride your bike more.

I want a transportation incentive.