Santorum (The man, not the frothy spooge) wants to incentivize marriage. CAVEAT: Between a man and a woman. Anything outside this will still send you to Satan's Hibachi, to be braised by heckling goats and people who writhed on a dancefloor until your skin pops. And then some.
I need to hear the TERMS of this Incentivizing before I can get behind it. I'm pretty prolific in the marriage department. This could be RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. On my way out of number 3. I want a frequency incentive. I want a punchcard where the last one is FREE! I don't even have to DIVORCE him...we can just wake up one morning and say,
"Well."
"Yeah."
"Okay, then...I'll just grab my books and leave you with your fucking recycling.... and my mother's birddog."
OR: I'd like marriage licenses to be issued more like hunting licenses. Every year you put in for what you want. I'd like to marry someone who can cook this time. Someone who will help me carry the television outside so we can smash it. Then we can watch netflix on one of our computer screens. Because I'm also a hypocrite.
Or marriage could be like a DRIVER'S LICENSE that you renew if you want. Maybe you've just decided to start taking the bus. Or ride your bike more.
I want a transportation incentive.
