...One of the Dons retired. Just like that. There was a cake one day, the next day he was gone. His cubicle sat empty for precisely 3 days. Today sitting in the ergonomic stiff-backed high-armed nerd chair is a guy named 'Vinnie'. Vinnie has a mustache and wears Rustler jeans and a tooled leather belt. Although he hums constantly, unlike the Other Dons he carries a tune. Sadly, he can't operate even the technology of the chair and has fallen out twice. Other than that, he appears to be constantly on the verge of asking where he is. He walks to the opening of his small space and looks out as if things might suddenly make sense. He rocks on his pointy toed boots, says something like, "Yuup.." and disappears. I cannot help him. I've seen it before and it's never pretty: Someone clearly moved his cheese.
The remaining 2 Dons, meanwhile, have been away on some sort of special I/T Security Outing someplace blan like...oh...Phoenix or a pasty whitebread outskirt of Denver. They return on Wednesday. This could be interesting because Vinnie is NOT an AUTHENTIC security guy. The other Dons will know this immediately. His book shelves are completely free of manuals and guides, Policies and Procedures. He has only one cell phone and its an old one. On his desk there is a mug that says "You Want it WHEN?" with some fat laughing figures rolling all over it and a thin volume of Cowboy Poetry. He has a calendar with pictures of cars on it.
Vinnie is someone who was BONED out of his other job because he is blazingly incompetant and was simply placed in Retired Dons special-order left-handed swivel desk chair with the lumbar support because it was vacant. He reeks of last nights cheap whiskey and cigarettes.
I love him like someone elses red headed stepchild.
It's the official attitude of someone who knows time is short. It's a good thing.
Posted by: mark | June 08, 2005 at 02:53 PM
Someone oughtta bottle that fragrance and offer it specially to civil servants on the verge of retirement. I hope for an ounce or two of it someday, myself.
I'd catalog-shop on government time...but it's just so much effort...
Posted by: Tata | June 10, 2005 at 07:47 AM