I've just told everyone in the meeting, or those who hadn't left for lunch, numbering about 8, that I plan to marry Saddam so that he can become a US citizen.
"I think, once you get past his rough edges, that he has a lot to offer this country..."
I pointed to a picture of him in his Bad Boy chic open collared white shirt and jacket. He is sneering at the camera. He looks crazed. In a good way.
"All he requires is a little rehabilitation and a PR makeover. The Buddhists are doing a lot with chanting and meditation to generate compassion and positive thoughts. Then he could do his own Apprentice spinoff.... " I explained, "I'm an Extreme Buddhist AND I am actually the Queen of Compassion...so..." I shrugged to demonstrate the obviousness of my Path.
These are a mixed bag of people. Most of them are really cool and recognize when someone is fucking with them. There are a few, however, that I just can't warm up to. One guy, Chuk, who is one of those thinning hair, long mullet pulled into a pony tail guys. No sense of humor. Whines and complains constantly. Wears tan orthopedic shoes that squeak. Rockports. And a woman, Trina?, who I believe may actually just be in the wrong place. She, I am convinced, is supposed to be down the road at the Comfort Inn conference room B for the Managing Your Time or Living with Incompetence workshop.
Trina said:
"I think he's already married."
"I am already married, too, Trina," I replied. "But, like Daniel Horowitz, I have a huge arsonel of hammers and a heart full of love.... and all this... compassion." I held my arms out wide.
Chuk said, "I guess you think that's funny."
I ignored chuk. I'll let my scissors do the talking after lunch....After I get my Phd in Compassion ordered from the ULC site.
You have a good heart or two.
Posted by: mark | October 20, 2005 at 07:06 AM
I feel underdressed without an unindicted spouse!
Posted by: Tata | October 20, 2005 at 10:32 AM
Indictment is for wussies; convicted or shut up!
Posted by: Heydave | October 20, 2005 at 10:52 AM