The Quality of The Inn in Question

I am staying in the very worst Mo-tel in Tucson. Very worst.
Dirty, smelly,uglyuglyugly. NOTHING to eat or drink nearby...unless you coun the WAFFLEHUT or Wendy's...
Now I am NOT a Hotel snob, by any means. One of my VERY FAVORITE hotels, one I stay at regularly is the Moore Hotel in Seattle.
Anyone who has been there, or walked by it knows. It's (warning: overused in an attempt to be cutesy word alert:) creepy. I love the Moore. It has an old used feel to it that I like to duplicate in my appearance.
It's cheap and its location is perfect. They do not pretend to be anything than what they are.
Not so THE QUALITY INN.
This experience is like masturbation to japanese anima porn.
I should never have come.

"FREE HIGH SPEED INTERNET IN EVERY ROOM!" boasted the amenities.
Maybe. If you bring your own cable. And connection.
Fuckers.
The guy at the front desk is FUNCTIONALLY RERETARDED. (I meant the additional re.) And it's not in an "Oh isn't he doing well for himself! And he isn't wearing stained plaid!" sort of way. I think he started out dimwitted enough, and then built himself a nice little life reinforcing it through His Work.
"Can I help you?" he asks, as if he hadn't seen me 3 other times this evening, in the space of an hour. He is always on the phone. (TO HIS MOM. He has to be 50)
"Yesss....I wondered if I could get a cable for the HIGH SPEED INTERNET?"
His eyes swim around for a minute, then he settles on me again,
"CAN I HELP YOU?" he tries again, a little louder.
"CAN I GET A CABLE. FOR THE INTERNET."
"No...." he looks at the phone he has in his hand, regretfully, then back at me. "They are all lent out..."
I see his hand begin to make the slow journey toward his ear again.
"When can I get one?" I ask quickly.
Hand stops, eyes swim some more.
"I don't know. Sometimes they don't ever come back...."
Same thing, apparently with towels. And phonebooks.
And maids.

His name is Eldon.

Comments

[Phil]

Hey, if you like old hotels, check out the Hotel Congress. They have music there, and a funky old bar. Here's a couple pictures I took:

http://blogs.salon.com/0001970/2005/03/17.html

[Phil]

Also, set aside some time for Club Turbulence, a strip club on Tucson Avenue near the airport. (Haven't been in, of course, just thought it was a fabulous name for such a place.)

[katy]

That is an excellent tip, Phil. I have to come back here for 2 weeks in January and I think I will definately stay in the Hotel Congress, available rooms allowing.

I see flyers and billboards for Club Turbulence everywhere and I'm sure its near here somewhere...
and if I were traveling with anyone fun I might make them go there for a beer, just for the experience. These girls sound special. What with the turbulence and all. PLUS: I've never been in a GENTLEMEN'S CLUB.