Flowerbomb - Becca B, Florist/Arms Dealer
I don’t like talking people into anything. Especially with the flowers. People generally come into my shop wanting something, but not quite knowing what, and I help them to know…. but really I just guide them to the decision that they have already tucked up inside their heart. These days a person has to be good at seeing into another person’s heart. Flowers are easy. I do believe, have always believed, that the flower picks you.
There’s a type, alright. I can spot a Rose Person a mile way, they tend to be unimaginative in a middle class way, one season behind in everything; I know a Wildflower Spring Bouquet when it walks through my door looking hurried and badly shod; and anyone who wants those creepy vines mixed in can’t be trusted, Wandering Jews is what we call ‘em and I refer these folks to the big Fred Meyer down the way…
It’s so much better if the shopper comes to his decision on his own, be it with the flowers, or the firearms. You show them your pre-arrangements, you let them flip through the catalogs at the little stuffed bears and coffee mugs, the hollowpoints shells with WWJK stenciled on, the paper targets in the shape of gay boyscouts… In then end, it’s a thirty dollar basket of mixed colors or a dozen red roses every time. But you’ve made them think. Throw in the bear, tie on a balloon…ask them if they are proud of their white race. You can tell if they came just for the flowers by how much money they spend and by the questions that they ask,
“I like roses, but do you have anything with more thorns?” or
“I’d like to tear the heads off those fucking pink tulips….”
These are good indicators that the person might be interested in seeing what I’ve got in back. I love weddings. A room full of spring bouquets can take my breath away. But that don’t feed the baby, honey. And I’m not going to be caught with my pants down holding a hand full of pansys when the Big Whitey Meltdown comes to my town.
Hahahaha... And I bet the pansy-lovers want pink bullets. I'll bet you have just the thing for them, huh?
Posted by: catnmus | January 14, 2008 at 05:43 PM
Nicely wrought!
Posted by: Phil | January 15, 2008 at 12:45 AM
Did you go to the gun show with out me!
Posted by: cyndee | January 21, 2008 at 11:09 PM
Hmm, I always ask for "something unusual" and maybe exotic at my florist.
Have I talked myself out of their back room, or are they floral heathens?
Posted by: Heydave | January 22, 2008 at 11:42 AM